It’s pretty safe to say that we all want our children to grow up to be happy, productive, successful contributors to society. We want our kids to eventually be self-sufficient and leave the nest.
Are we equipping them to do it well? Are we teaching them the real skills they will need to be independent and successful?
Of course our kids need to learn to tie their shoes and brush their teeth. They also need to learn to read and do math, but the self-sufficiency skills I’m talking about today go beyond that.
It’s pretty hard to make it out of childhood without basic grooming and interpersonal skills. Compulsory education makes readin’, ‘ritin’ and ‘rithmatic easy to pick up too.
On the other hand, there are some life skills that may go entirely untaught by both parents and teachers. Making it to adulthood without these skills will inhibit a young adult’s ability to be self-sufficient, independent, and frugal.
Here are three skills you can start teaching your kids now, no matter their ages.
Managing Finances
This isn’t the first time (not will it be the last time) that I have stressed the importance of teaching kids about finances from a young age. Money management is something that must be taught at home because it isn’t taught in schools.
As with other skills, the teaching starts with modeling the behavior. Since much of our money management goes on in our heads (or between the devil and angel on each of our shoulders), we need to think out loud sometimes.
Our kids shouldn’t be completely shielded from our finances. There are some things you should to tell your kids about your finances in order to teach them adequately.
Our kids need to see us not just spending money, but saving our money, both for things we want and things we need. They need to see that we don’t buy everything we want and that we prioritize our spending.
Teach your children to budget their money and make plans for what they will save for. Paying tithing is important to us, so that is something we teach our children, as well.
We also are open with our kids about debt. Even school-age children can understand the concept of debt. They know about borrowing, but they’ll also need to learn how interest works, and what it means to both pay and earn it.
Earning Money
Before kids can learn to manage money, they need to learn about earning money. If the only money kids practice managing is money that they are given with no strings attached, they are missing an important piece of the personal finance puzzle, working to earn an honest living.
Managing money that you didn’t earn is not the same as managing windfall money (think allowance, birthday money, spending money). The dollars and cents that represent their own efforts will be much more precious and meaningful than money that was just given. Kids will be much more careful with money they worked hard to earn.
Give your kids the chance to earn money doing chores around the house. For the record, I’m also a fan of having kids do some chores just because they are part of the family. In fact, in our family, the chores for which they don’t earn money must be completed first.
There are even non-chore ways that children can earn money. In fact, if your kids are like mine, small opportunities to earn money might bring out the resourceful entrepreneur in them.
Having the chance to earn money has really increased our kids’ opportunities to learn financial lessons. When they want something, instead of asking (or begging) for it, they will think of a way to earn the money they need to buy it.
Cooking from Scratch
How many kids leave home without ever having cooked anything for themselves, let alone something healthy?
Sometimes even in a home where the parents may cook, the children never have the opportunity to learn and practice crucial kitchen skills for themselves. When they get to college, eating out (or eating something unhealthy) seems like the only option.
While it’s often faster (and cleaner) just to do the cooking ourselves, we really do our children a disservice when we don’t let them help and give them the chance to learn how to prepare food.
When my husband was growing up, one of the chores that rotated between the six children was making the family’s five loaves of bread each week. At a young age, the children learned to make bread and had plenty of opportunities for practice. Although he doesn’t use it much, my husband still has the recipe memorized.
As parents, the first step is getting in the kitchen and modeling the behavior. Our kids will learn that food can be made from ingredients, not just bought and reheated.
Over the summer, I started the Kids Cook Real Food course with my kids. I would schedule time when I was calm and prepared, not needing to have dinner on the table in half an hour. The kids loved learning from the course videos and all the hands-on practice.
The kids get so proud of the things they make themselves. They are also more willing to eat healthy or new foods if they prepared them themselves.
You might be surprised how young children can get started in the kitchen. The Kids Cook Real Foods course has three age levels (from two to teen) where different skills are taught (not just levels of the same skill).
I think it would make an excellent gift for children or grandchildren. Not only will they learn a vital life skill, it’s a gift that doesn’t take up space or create clutter.
See the Future
Imagine dropping your children off at college to live on their own for the first time. What are the skills they will need to survive? To thrive?
Surely, managing finances, earning a living, and preparing healthy foods are all essential life skills to master before leaving home. Fortunately, they’re all skills we can start teaching now.
These aren’t the only life skills your kids are unlikely to learn in school or absorb from society, but they are a great place to start.
What do you think?
- What other life skills are young adults lacking that we should be teaching our kids?
- How have you taught your kids to manage finances, work hard, or be self-sufficient in the kitchen?
Free when you subscribe!
Get frugal inspiration and financial motivation in your inbox every week, plus you'll also get the Guide to Getting a Month Ahead Financially for free!
Great ideas! Love the point you made about dropping them off at college and I immediately think of my boys being able to sew on a button or iron a shirt or impress someone with some basic cooking skills. I could craft-DIY my way through those years but wasn’t equipped with how to cook anything. (Ironic now that I cook daily for a family of five, LOL!) Teaching kids to save $ and spend it wisely is so important in this era of so many people living in debt. Visiting from Tutorials and Tips.
Great article and something I’ve been thinking a lot about recently due to my son turning one. I’m trying to figure out the right age to start teaching him money and responsibility around finances. These are really great tips and suggestions and I plan to incorporate these in the future!!
In addition to all the skills listed here I think it’s also important to teach them street smarts. To me this means: Knowing how to project a “don’t mess with me” attitude to strangers; being aware of your surroundings; knowing what to do if you’re lost or if you need to get out of there; trusting your instincts; and not worrying if other people will think you’re rude. To give an example of what I mean, years ago I was in a cab in Cairo when the driver started to go in what I knew was the wrong direction. My instincts kicked in; I started to feel uncomfortable. I reminded him of where it was that I wanted to go. He said yes, yes, he knew, and then pulled over and said he wanted to take me into this building to meet a friend of his. Because I was uncomfortable I was paying attention to where the nearest busy street was; and so as soon as he stopped the cab I opened the door and ran and caught another cab back to where I wanted to go. Chances are nothing too bad would’ve happened to me if I’d gone with him – the friend was probably a shopkeeper and the driver probably got a commission on sales. But it didn’t feel right; it could’ve been something worse; and I wasn’t prepared to take the chance. I want my kids to travel and have adventures and sometimes take risks. But I want them to be smart and safe about it.
Great additions as always, Becca! Being street smart is an important, yet more intangible, skill to grasp. I’m glad you were in tune and got out of that situation in Cairo.
That reminds me of an experience my husband and I had in Guatemala City. We were talking to a guy on the street and we made the dumb mistake of telling him where we were staying. After he left, we discussed how we had a bad feeling about him and that we should go back to the hotel and let the receptionist know that if a dude comes by asking for us or saying that he knows us, none of it’s true. After grabbing something at the bakery for dinner, we headed back to the hotel and can you guess who was talking to the desk clerk? No joke. The guy from the street was there asking about us. I tell you it was straight out of a movie. We sat down in the lobby and hid behind newspapers until he was gone. I was thoroughly creeped out. We failed at street smarts there (don’t tell complete strangers where you live) , but thankfully were in-tune to the creepy feeling we got from this man.
This may sound silly, but one thing I think kids should learn how to do is laundry, particularly how to deal with more delicate fabrics. I remember when I went away to college, the first couple of nights were really interesting to see who had learned what skills and who hadn’t. There was one guy I met who had never ironed anything before. It was interesting as an adult to teach another adult how to choose the setting on the iron and how to actually iron something.
Also, basic sewing skills are nice to know. Again, in college, many people didn’t know how to sew on a button or hem their own pants and some ended up either throwing things out or paying someone for something they could have done themselves if they just knew how.
Yes! I think all the things parents overlook really shine through when the kids are out on their own! Laundry and mending are good ones.
I love the knife skills video. i just viewed it. My girls love to help me cook and always want to cut something. I have to admit I am so scared to let them cut that usually give them a butter knife. This video gives me the confidence to stop underestimating the abilities of my kids. I may let them watch the video then practice this weekend for a fun learning project.
Yes! I totally get that. I was a little hesitant to give my kids real knives too! They did just fine though. And now they are quick to let me or my husband know if we are cutting in an unsafe way. Ha!
Very good tips! I have always found it strange when people say it is rude to discuss money. Kids learn by exposure and they need to see the workings of money. As a dietitian, I can definitely vouch for the importance of learning to cook from scratch! That skill alone can help tremendously with finances.
Great info as always 🙂
I definitely agree Ashley! Without any exposure to money, kids will have to learn the hard way. And cooking from scratch makes such a big impact financially! 😉